Romance Novel Plot 101

The beautiful month of May will be the romance month on this blog. We decided to introduce you into the topic in the gentlest way possible.
 
Have you ever wondered how these romantic books are written? Here you have four fool-proof, failure-proof, completely viable and quite ingenious plot outlines for anything romantic, with  pictures. Yes, the outlines are deliberately biased, ironic and very schematic – let us hope they are also fun! 

ROMANCE NOVEL PLOT 101

OR
everything you would like to know about romance but you are afraid to ask.

ENJOY!

Text by Rameau (mostly), pictures by Anachronist via Google search. Mostly. All rights reserved.

1.Historical:

She’s a good girl, he’s a duke.
He is a good boy she’s a whore.
She has money, he needs a wife. Or the other way round.
Oh, no, did he compromise you?
Poor girl, you must marry him. Poor guy here is the bride.

…and lie together as he has his wicked way with you.

Noble cock cures her reluctance,
just in time for the mistress to saunter in.
Poor girl, you love him, don’t you?
Run to your family, your aunt, his mother, a distant childhood confidant.

Nothing will hide your humiliation and shame.
Not when he comes running after you,
for he loves you too.
And that noble cock gave you a viscount on the way. YAY!

2. Contemporary:

She’s over men, he’s never been into them…
well, other than technically. (See part 4.)

No, he is not ready, his problem is commitment.
She has a cat, a puppy, triplets or all five.
She doesn’t have the time, to mend an unbroken… thing.

But they need each other. Fling it is.
Hot and passionate but temporary.

Magic cock, distant relative to Noble cock,
it too cures all ills.
Instantly she wants more.

In the present day, her pesky job,
friends or family,
they’ll talk her into marriageable mood.

For a modern woman wants to be a wife,
For a modern man,
always wants what he’s denied,
be it commitment, love, or a new babe.
Or a new car. Red preferably.

Er…. babe as in baby not an 18 year old nanny on the side.
Unless, that’s how the story started!
Who can say ‘no’ to a young, plump nanny?

3.Paranormal:

Independent woman needs no man.
Alpha male needs no woman. And yet…and yet…

They somehow land in the same bed and he turns the woman into a female, and sprinkles her with insta lust.

Yes. They’re a match made,
in a magicians hat.

Sense it makes not,
but let’s kill a few rivaling packs…
Er… maim, to maim is better than to kill.
The damage is more pleasing to the eye.

Let’s maim a few villains,
for they will find their fated mates
in their own books of the same series,

soon to be bought in your nearest library.

P.S. Do not forget, that supernatural cock works its magic too!

4. M/M

A boy meets boy.
He’s gay, he’s not gay.

He’s in the closet, he’s gay for you.
They kiss, they clasp hands… and more.
They talk, they have sex.
They walk, they have sex.
They’re happy, because double cock wins them all! Have I mentioned sex already? Yeah…

And they lived happily ever after 🙂

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4 Responses to Romance Novel Plot 101

  1. Blodeuedd says:

    Lol, you crack me up

  2. lol A whole month of romance? Will you survive? 😉

  3. I hope so. An endurance test, it will be. Fortunately I have some help 🙂

Comments are closed.