Rameau’s review archive: Hot Head (Head 01) by Damon Suede + Paranormal Romance Parody part eight

Synopsis:

Where there’s smoke there’s fire. . .

Since 9/11, Brooklyn firefighter Griff Muir has wrestled with impossible feelings for his best friend and partner at Ladder 181: Dante Anastagio. Unfortunately Dante is strictly a ladies’ man and the FDNY isn’t exactly gay-friendly. For 10 years, Griff has hidden his heart in a half-life of public heroics and private anguish.

Griff’s caution and Dante’s cockiness make them an unbeatable team. To protect his buddy, there’s nothing Griff wouldn’t do… until Dante is nearly bankrupt and proposes the worst possible solution: HotHead.com, a gay-porn website where uniformed hunks get down-n-dirty… Now Dante wants them to appear there— together.

Griff may have to guard his heart and live out his darkest fantasies on camera. Can he rescue the man he loves without wrecking their careers, their families, or their friendship?

Hot Head (Head, #1)Hot Head by Damon Suede

This is one of those books that are too good to be meh books but not good enough to be anything else either. I did like Suede’s writing quite a bit but I just wish there’d been less of it. Hot Head needed a couple of more rounds of story editing to take away all that repetition, unnecessary expose and awkward genitalia euphemisms.

It took two or three chapters for the story to actually start and that infodumping burned my budding trust in the author. Whenever something happened or didn’t happen, I didn’t have the patience to read on to find the explanations. This accounts at least one of my status updates. I also craved for some added clarity even in the scenes I enjoyed.

As for the story itself, it read like a gay-for-you fantasy more than anything else. I’m not saying that it’s not possible for two straight men to fall in love with each other and forgo all women—let’s just all agree to hope for the day when only love matters and gender is irrelevant—I’m saying I’m not interested in reading those stories. If I’m reading explicit books about adults, I’d rather read about self-assured characters whose midlife crises are about something other than redefining their sexuality.

Speaking of which, I thought Dante’s failed. Had he done what he did unwittingly, he’d only have been a bad, ignorant friend, but he knew. He set everything up deliberately because he was a coward. Griff was a coward too, but he deserved better than what Dante put him through. A quick comment of idiocy being the necessary evil for new relationships doesn’t make it right.

Rating icon. A hairless cat is wearing a santa hat and a sour expression. On the hat reads: meh.

 Now back to our daily Paranormal Romance Parody – today we present part eight, written by Anachronist!

Douche bypassed the rooms labelled ‘bathroom’ and ‘closet’ while heading to the armoury. He entered it, looked around and wolf-whistled – Sugarbabe had literally everything. The room was full of weapons of every imaginable kind and size, from the simplest garrotes, antique daggers and katanas,  through butcher knives, bows and crossbows and slings to state-of-the-art machine guns and RPGs with laser beam viewfinders. Near each weapon was stacked the appropriate ammo. There was even a large assortment of Armani clothes and bags, leather and canvass, so you can dress like a stylish assassin and carry everything comfortably with you.

 Armed and dressed, Douche took a big, black Humvee from the multi-levelled garage of his Queen, activated it and ordered the navigation system:

 “To Sugar Club where, undoubtedly, Sugarbabe is.”

 The system beeped, flashed some lights and announced in a surprisingly sexy, female voice:

“As you wish, gorgeous. Nice abs.”

 In less than 10 minutes Edward Douche arrived to the famous Sugar Club and entered it with a big bang, created by a stun grenade and a few series from an Uzi held in his right hand. Everybody and everything went quiet – only Sugarbabe moved forward to meet him, courageous, undaunted and arrogant as usual.

 “What do you want?” she asked.

 “Free Leena! She is the love of my life and my real mate!” roared Douche waving his Uzi.

Will Sugarbabe free Leena? Find out tomorrow!

The story so far… 

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This entry was posted in book review, contemporary, creative exercise, erotica, lgbtq, meh, miscellaneous essays, read in 2013 and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Rameau’s review archive: Hot Head (Head 01) by Damon Suede + Paranormal Romance Parody part eight

  1. blodeuedd says:

    Omg free the stupid Leena and kill Douche 😉

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