Paranormal Romance Parody – part nine

Part nine, written by Anachronist

“Take off your shirt,” ordered Sugarbabe without missing a beat.

 “What?” snapped Edward defiantly.

 “I said take off your shirt. I want to see one of your tattoos.”

 He shrugged and disrobed like a professional Chippendale, making all present females faint and all males scowl in a fit of jealousy.

 “Come here, to that large mirror. Here. That one. What does that tattoo say?” asked Sugarbabe.

 Douche glowered at her but read it aloud, blushing a bit:

 “I lurve Leeonoristatahnea forevah, mwah, mwah.”

 “Right. And what’s the full first name of our poor Leena?”

 Edward frowned. “Leeonoristatahnae.”

 “Exactly. Have you noticed? The ending is different:  -AE, not -EA, like inked on you. See? It’s not about her!” exclaimed Sugarbabe.

 “It’s just a typo. Leena has a lovely but a bit difficult name and that tattoo artist must have misspelled it, among other things, he was famous for his typos,” objected Edward but obvious uneasiness crept into his voice.

 Sugarbabe came closer and caught his face in her splendidly manicured hands, turning it so he looked straight into her eyes. She whispered, her voice as sweet and as dangerous as chocolate caramel fondue with whipped cream and cognac-soaked raisins:

 “You stupid, stupid fool. Listen carefully now, listen to your heart. My super-secret, full first name is Leeonoristatahnea and that minx, Leena, is my evil twin sister. Got it?”

 Douche gasped, flabbergasted – his flabber was completely gasted and more.

 “So…what am I supposed to do now?” he mewed.

 So…what is he supposed to do? Tomorrow the last part!

 The story so far… 

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4 Responses to Paranormal Romance Parody – part nine

  1. blodeuedd says:

    WHAT! Ok I did not see that coming

  2. heidenkind says:

    She makes her twin sister clean her house in a French maid uniform???

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