Paranormal Romance Parody – part ten and the last!

Part ten and the last, written by Rameau 

“You poor baby mate. You ask what you’re supposed to do after you cheated on me, your one true mate?” Sugarbabe purred and unleashed her fangs. “Now, you die.”

“Move away!!!” yelled one of the Armani bags and a figure dressed in a Jun Ashida black,  hand-embroidered silk kimono jumped out of it. It was Leena, with a 9 mm Smith and Wesson in every hand. Hail of deadly bullets flew towards Sugarbabe before she even managed to react, every single one hitting its mark.

 “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” wailed Douche, trying to shelter his beloved wife with his own perfectly sculpted body. Too late. Sugarbabe was lying in a puddle of blood and her sister was grinning like a mad.

“Help her!” wailed Edward.

“These were silver bullets, honey. She is as dead as a doornail,” gloated Leena.

 “I will have my revenge!” Douche growled and sprung to his feet. He rushed towards Leena and tackled her against one of the wall ornaments. The sharp antlers pierced her fragile body and tore into her flesh. Leena gazed at Douche beseechingly, but he only let out a scream and pushed her further back. One of the spikes must have reached her heart because she turned into a dusty mummy in his hands. Unable to control his rage Douche took his silver knife and decapitated the sorry excuse for a vampiress.

 It was over.

“My lord?”

Douche turned slowly. He found himself staring into the dead, lifeless eyes of a re-animated Sugarbabe. She was reaching out to him, gurgling incomprehensibly.

“I might have forgotten to mention that I’m a necromancer.” Malik shrugged.

Stunned speechless Douche ignored the gnawing jealousy in his gut and embraced the love of his life, who immediately started snacking on his ear. This was their happy ending. Or was it?

The whole story:

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6 Responses to Paranormal Romance Parody – part ten and the last!

  1. blodeuedd says:

    Oh wasn’t that handy, is she gonna be a zombie…music of doom

  2. I’m glad you liked it, we’ll think about it FOR SURE 😀

  3. heidenkind says:

    You two should self-publish this as an ebook!

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