An isolated Alaskan town called Barrow is facing a whole month of complete darkness. As the last rays of light fade, the town is attacked by a bloodthirsty gang of vampires led by Marlow (Danny Huston). The vamps are bent on an uninterrupted orgy of destruction and feeding. Only the small town’s husband-and-wife Sheriff team, Eben Oleson (Josh Hartnett) and his estranged wife, Stella (Melissa George), think about fighting them. Will they manage to survive the whole month?
I wanted to like this movie but I ended up partially bored and partially laughing – not a good combination when you watch a horror. Why? Here are my notes, explaining my attitude.
Vampires are easily recognizable by their poor hygiene, strangely slanted, black eyes, pale skin and dirty, shark-like teeth.
If you don’t want to be their victim don’t go out alone. Scratch that. Don’t go out at all. Your car is not safe either. Stay in the kitchen, keep calm and bake cookies.
Innocents are usually the first victims. Like sweet husky dogs.
If even the sheriff admits he doesn’t know what’s going on the situation is bad. Run for your life. Oh wait. You wasn’t supposed to go out. Bummer. Bake more cookies. Oh, there’s no power. Shiver in the corner then.
Vampires can also be helpful, helping you to get rid of your spouse without those nasty divorce papers so don’t despair.
Vamps speak their own language (mainly screeching, gasping and huffing), tough luck. Don’t count on talking them out of killing you. Good news: they can be destroyed with a gun so keep your Winchesters and Colts ready. If you don’t like firearms an axe might be useful or a really powerful lamp. Of course the sun kills all dangerous vermin.
Walking along the street shouting for help seems to be the stupidest of your options; still don’t be surprised some people (well, women) will go for it anyway. Men, on the other hand, will of course stay calm and collected to the very end.
I am yet to watch a good vampire horror but I am still keen on visiting Alaska. Gorgeous landscapes!