Witch’s Bell Book One by Odette C. Bell

Synopsis (from Goodreads):

Ebony Bell is living just exactly the life she wants. She has her very own magical bookstore, a wardrobe full of fabulously glitzy clothes, and a sweet bowl just brimming with lollies. But when a 6ft-tall annoyance by the name of Detective Nathan Wall walks through her shop door, her sweet life turns to ruin. As witch consultant for the local police department, Ebony has to work infuriatingly close with the man. And if that wasn’t the worst thing that could happen, she slowly finds out that an ancient, thoroughly powerful entity might just be out to curse her.

Very soon she finds herself ditching the ruby-red heels, dashing across rooftops, breaking and entering, and stuffing whole bookstores into bags. Oh, and possibly kissing annoying detectives.

My impressions;

Ebony Bell is a character who treats magic like her favourite dress accessory. Not outraged yet? Wait, there’s more. Ebony is an owner of a used bookstore even though she doesn’t read and, overall, doesn’t like books. What made me think so ? Because her bookstore is DIRTY and seriously messed up. Any excuses? In her view customers think old books must be dirty. Stupid and lazy -it is  a deadly combination for any heroine, one which seriously makes my hackles risen. Now add to that the fact that the woman spoke in infodumps for more or less one third of the novel and these were infodumps full of spelling errors, suspicious sentence constructions  (e.g. “She shrugged her shoulders expressively, rolling her make-up-clad eyes.” Dear author, try to perform that in front of a mirror.) and overall lack of sense – and you almost know why this one was a firm DNF for me. Almost.

The proverbial last nail in the coffin called Witch’s Bell was… Ebony’s hair. Firstly I was left discombobulated because its colour was described as mahogany even if the name of our sweet main lead suggest it should have been black. EBONY people – has the author never seen ebony?

That’s my idea of Ebony.

Then my confusion increased because the said hair was very much dead AND alive at the same time (Schrödinger’s cat anyone?). An appropriate quote is coming:

“Her long hair trickled over a shoulder as she turned. Though trickle was not usually a word you associated with dead, lifeless hair, you had to widen your vocabulary when it came to Ebony. Not only did her curled strands store up the light like a handful of diamonds glinting in the sun, but the hair itself seemed to have a mind of its own. It sometimes swayed from side to side, like wind over long grass. It sometimes danced between her shoulders, like a bird hopping from branch to branch. And sometimes it just sat there like a storm: eddying, brewing, each tassel a wild concentrated wave.”

Yes, my dears, sad but true, apparently Ms Bell thinks that your head is full of dead hair (so everybody is wearing a wig). Mind you it is an excerpt from the very first chapter of the book. If you can tolerate that style and dead-or-alive hair then perhaps you’ll like this one better than me – good luck.

Final verdict:

Witch’s Bell was a waste of my time. Time is expensive even if this one can be had free of charge on Amazon so I really cannot recommend it to anyone.

Rating icon. A stack of books and the words a total failure and an outline of a skull and bones drawn over them.

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8 Responses to Witch’s Bell Book One by Odette C. Bell

  1. blodeuedd says:

    Best eye roll ever lol

  2. heidenkind says:

    Haha well the excerpt is definitely awful, but my hackles rose from the very beginning with the Bell Witch reference.

    • You are far wiser than me. Sometimes I cannot damp down the urge to torture myself while seeing such books. And I pay for my stupidity in a form of reviews. ;p

  3. Carole Rae says:

    …..why did the author think it necessary to spend an entire paragraph JUST describing her hair? Maybe a sentence or two….bleeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh. Silly, silly.

    *sips tea* Needless to say, thanks for warning me about this.

  4. Melfka says:

    When the author and the character share the surname, I get suspicious in an instant.

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